School Counsellor NewsWhen talking with children and listening to their concerns, there is often a need for an apology to help heal the relationship between the children. I help students to recognise and implement three parts in their apology:
At times I wonder if saying “sorry” really recognises the hurt that was caused to the other person. This story sent through “Counsellor Talk” emails may help children to recognise that when we hurt people, that can have an enduring effect that is only minimised by the apology.NAIL IN THE FENCE There once was a little child who had a bad temper. The child’s father bought a bag of nails, and told the child to hammer a nail into the back of the fence each time he/she did not control expression of anger. The first day the child had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as anger was controlled and expressed in acceptable ways, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. The lesson learned that it was easier to use energy to control anger than to use energy in driving the nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the child completely controlled expression of anger and didn't need to hammer even one nail into the fence. The father suggested that a celebration could be pulling out one nail each time when anger was successfully controlled. The days passed and the young child was finally able to report that all the nails had been removed. The father took the child to the fence and said, "You have done well, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. Similarly, when you say things in anger, people may be left with a scar. Lets avoid scarring our community, and think before we speak or act.
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